Too Many Oscars Leads to Epic Mistake at Awards Show

The 2016 Academy Awards devolved into chaos Monday night when presenter Warren Beatty failed to correctly identify the correct Oscar for Best Picture. Beatty first called the Oscar for La La Land before being corrected on stage and the correct Oscar award being given to Moonlight.

By all accounts the event was the biggest disaster in the history of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences  Awards show. 

When told he had been given the wrong envelope, Beatty reportedly asked how they are supposed to tell apart when they, like the awards, all look alike. He then let loose a small rant against the event organizers, saying that many famous people feel like he does, but are afraid to speak out against the ‘Hollywood culture’.

“I’m just going to say it, these Academy people are a little too compulsive, everyone has to think alike, everything has to look alike, and so on,” Beatty told the press after the event. “I mean the envelopes look the same, the statues all look alike and have the same name, even the gift baskets are all exactly the same. I am glad this has happened. Finally people will e talking about the show and it won’t, for once, be about politics.

According to awards experts ‘the whole debacle was bound to happen sooner or later’ due to a glaring flaw in the process used by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. “There are too many awards going around by the name Oscar, simple as that,” says Noam Chorsky of the Los Alamos Hollywood Film Awards and Studies Laboratory. “How are we supposed to tell the second one given from the first?”

“Every award they have, they call an ‘Oscar’ and that’s just stupid.” explains Chorsky. “First, they all look alike, these awards. And second, they all are going to white people, of course there was going to be some confusion at some point.” The embarrassment has led to a call for a more ‘diverse’ cast of awards to be presented. 

“Next year, lets mix it up a bit. Best actor gets a Reuben, which is a Hispanic award statue with a golden sombrero,” explains Academy spokesperson Lily White. “Best actress, gets a Veronica, and the sound guy gets a Keller. It just make more sense and there will be a lot less confusion.”

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