This Page is for all those posts and ideas that did not quite make it to the main page. Most are just not funny enough, or in very poor taste. Enjoy!
Cecil the Non-Crunchy Fetus
Then there was the whole Cecil the lion thing that went on for a week, the same week all those Planned Parenthood videos were coming out. So, the idea was a story about ‘Cecil the Fetus’, complete with #FetalLiveMatter and #FelineLivesMatter hashtags.
‘Cecil was lured out of his womb and aborted…’
Anyways, the stuff involving aborted fetuses just doesn’t make it. Like the idea for a headline about:
‘5 out of 6 Fetuses Prefer Non-Crunchy Abortions’
Too gruesome, no matter how (un)funny.
John McCain Looking to Surrender to ‘Charlie’
Senator John McCain (R-AZ) was not happy with Donald Trump saying that he was ‘not a hero’ last week. But sources say he is even more upset at how little a price Trump paid at the polls for the slight. According to an anonymous McCain staffer, “The Senator knows what Trump meant, and apparently many voters could read between the lines as well. It’s been so long since ‘Nam that his 5 years in captivity just don’t make him special anymore.”
The source continues: “He wants to be special, so he’s looking for ‘Charlie’ to recapture him. Not for a long time, just long enough to get some footage on TMZ or something.” Asked if calling for a ‘Charlie’ is being a little racist, the staffer said, “Oh, no! Anyone named Charlie would do. Or Charles, perhaps a Chuck. It shouldn’t be too hard, a lot of people changed their name to Charlie after that Paris incident last year.”
Men Who Hate Their Penises and Dress Like Women Offended by Men Who Dress Like Women and Like Their Penises
From the ‘I can’t make this shit up’ desk – Organizers of the upcoming ‘Free Pride Glasgow’ have decided to ban drag queens from performing at the event to avoid offending transgendered persons.
A statement from the organizers said: “After much discussion, the trans and non binary caucus decided not to have drag acts perform at the event. This does not mean that people of any gender can’t wear what they want to the event, we simply won’t be having any self-described drag acts perform at our Free Pride Event on August 22.”
Clann An Uabhair, the foremost Scottish gay & lesbian association, have requested that all freak flags fly at half-mast in honor of the ban.