San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick refused to stand during the NFL theme song for a second game this weekend, continuing his protest against ‘oppression of working men just trying to do their jobs’.
“This protests has been taken out of context and politicized,” according to Kaepernick, speaking exclusively with The Factoid News via MySpace. “I’m out there everyday, working my butt off trying to perfect my passing game, and then comes Sunday and those assholes with the Packers are all rushing me and trying to get me off my game. The week before the Raiders tried that same shit. It’s complete bullshit, this ‘pass rush’, and I’m not going to stand for it anymore. I’m calling them out on this oppression.“
According to Kaepernick the pass rush occurs during what are supposed to be passing plays. “They are trying to force a run play, at least that is what I think they are trying to do,”said Kaepernick. ” I drop back to throw and instead of covering the receivers, like they should be doing, I’m suddenly being chased by 3, maybe four guys! On my side of the line, can you believe this?”
An investigation into the matter by The Factoid News has revealed that there may be some truth to Kaepernick’s allegations of pass-rushing, and that he might not be so full of shit after all. Interviews with several NFL players and coaches, all declining to speak on the record, has shown clear evidence of a vast conspiracy to ‘get the quarterback’ using the pass rush.
“It’s happening every sunday in the NFL, sure. We have a coach on staff and that’s all he teaches.” said one Head Coach for the Denver Broncos off the record. “They are teaching the pass rush to defenses starting in high school and on through college. Kaepernick might not handle it well, but it’s a part of the game nowadays. He need to just get over it and end this silly protest. It’s just a theme song, right?”