“They are claiming that they would be the first to land a rover on Earth and technically they might be right.”
North Korean officials announced the formation of that country’s first space program this morning during the annual ‘All Things Up Festival’. The festival celebrates the height of the ruling Jong family, who are said to only appear as human but actually be superbeings of ‘around 900 feet in height’.
The first mission planned for the fledgling space program? Landing a rover on Earth. Yes, on the Earth.
As funny as that might sound, some experts are saying that North Korea might have found a ‘loophole’ in the annals of space exploration. “Well, it’s a hell of a thing. They are claiming that they would be the first to land a rover on Earth and technically they might be right.” said Lawrence Lopjin of the Los Alamos Institute for Researching North Korean Pork and Bullshit (LAIRDPRKPBS). “Our records show that NASA and others have only ever landed rovers as test vehicles, in controlled environments. Landing a rover from above the atmosphere would be a first.”
NASA officials have indicated that they believe the US could beat the North Koreans to the punch and land a rover first using existing technology. “If we get started now, and if we have about 3 years, we might be able to get something off the ground and then back on it, for around twenty-five hundred dollars ($2,500).” said one NASA official, speaking off the record.