Harvey Weinstien to Remain ‘Committed to Pro-Gay, Pro-Jew Agenda’

Embattled philanthropist Harvey Weinstien responded harshly on Monday to critics saying he would remain ‘Committed to the cause of the Jewish peoples, as well as ‘the gays” during a tumultuous press conference in Paris.

“I have heard the complaints” said Wienstien, holding closed an Armani Bathrobe from his his posh Che Couch balcony. “These allegations are without merit. Seriously, they make my neck hurt, I think I could use a nice neck massage.” said the one-time mogul before propositioning a news camerawoman from the crowd.

In Hollywood, questions about Weinstein’s commitment to the gay cause was still evident. ” Men demand roles in Hollywood too” said Matt Damon, known spokespeace, while a small crowd of beautiful unknowns chanted ‘Couch Time, Screen Time’.

No end in sight remains as the remaining Hollywood elite continue to take names and note the whistleblowers. “I think we are about to see a lot of new stars in the next few years,” said on producer on condition of not identifying his couch, or his identity.

“Of course I still promote the pro-gay, Jewish agenda” said Harvey from his balcony, “It’s not like I want to be ostracized by Hollywood!”

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