‘Harambe’ Tops List of Penis Names For June, July

The killing of Harambe, a 17 year old Western lowland gorilla, has led to multiple viral internet memes in the past few months, one being the slogan “dicks out for Harambe”.

Somehow, the slogan has mutated into something of a ‘name your dick for Harambe’, causing the name to skyrocket to the top of the penis naming charts in the United States and Canada.

“It’s a powerful name,” says Noah Edison of the penis name tracking website, ChubbyChecker.com. “Since June every poll of [penis owners] shows the same thing…it’s been Harambe by a landslide. Without a doubt, it has become the must have penis name this summer.”

According to ChubbyChecker.com, the top penis names are usually things like Hercules, Troy, Poseidon…anything having to do with gods or mythology…and a few others like Charley, Wilfred, and Russell the Muscle. Disney names have also been making a comeback in recent years, with Geppetto topping the Disney inspired listings.

“It will eventually go away, like parents naming their daughters Avril and Britney,” explains Edison. “It all goes back to that meme, people like memes.”

Still, officials from the Cincinnati Zoo have made it clear and that they are not amused. “Naming your dick doesn’t make it a meme, even if it’s named after a gorilla,” insists John Pine, Cincinnati Zoo Director of Euthanasia. “We understand it’s a powerful name to give one’s genitals, but if the memes continue someone’s going to get fired around here.”

One thought on “‘Harambe’ Tops List of Penis Names For June, July

  • September 15, 2016 at 10:33 am

    The funny thing is that gorillas usually have 1 inch penises


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