Aaron Hernandez Kills Again!

Early this morning, a body was found in the cell of convicted murderer and ex-NFL player Aaron Hernandez. This latest victim was discovered by corrections officers at approximately 3:05 a.m., hanging from a bedsheet attached to his cell window.

At this time it is not clear why Mr. Hernandez chose himself as his next victim.

“It’s rather common that the killer and his victim know each other, but not quite this well,” said correctional unit spokesman Sandy Blumenthal. “We guess he chose himself due to a lack of options.”

According to reports, Mr. Hernandez blocked his door from the inside by jamming the door with various items before hanging his victim. The Massachusetts State Police are on scene and the investigation continues. Mr. Hernandez’s next of kin have been notified.